We do not avoid disagreements the way we once did, hoping problems would resolve themselves through silence. What changed is that we now fight fair, on purpose, using a short list of rules we agreed to outside the heat of any actual argument — no raised voices, no bringing up old wounds, one issue at a time, and a full stop if either of us needs ten minutes to calm down before continuing.
Proverbs 15:1 is not subtle: a soft answer turns away wrath, a harsh word stirs it up. That verse became almost a household law for us, something we could quote to each other mid-disagreement as a genuine reset rather than a gotcha. Conflict has not disappeared from our marriage. It has simply stopped being something we are afraid of.