For years I believed that comforting a grieving friend required finding the right words — some verse or phrase that would make sense of what she was carrying. I have sat with enough women through enough losses now to know that belief was mostly wrong.
Paul’s instruction is not to explain with those who weep. It is to weep with them (Romans 12:15). The comfort is in the presence, not the explanation. Some of the most meaningful support I have ever offered a grieving friend involved almost no words at all — just sitting on her couch, letting the silence be shared instead of awkward.
The comfort we have received from God, Paul writes elsewhere, becomes the comfort we can offer others (2 Corinthians 1:4). I do not think that means we hand someone a lecture about our own past pain. I think it means we let our own grief make us more patient with theirs, less rushed to fix what does not need fixing yet, and more willing to simply stay in the room.