There is an unspoken rule in some ministry circles that leaders are supposed to have graduated past their struggles — that anxiety, in particular, does not belong in the same sentence as someone who is supposed to be a source of steadiness for others. I have decided not to follow that rule.
I still experience real anxiety — racing thoughts before a talk, a tightness in my chest during hard seasons, nights where Philippians 4:6’s command not to be anxious feels aspirational rather than descriptive of my actual state. I have learned to hold that verse as an invitation to bring the anxiety to God repeatedly, not as proof that I have failed if the anxiety returns. His power, Paul says, is made perfect in weakness, not in the absence of it (2 Corinthians 12:9). I would rather be an honest leader than a polished one.